Talk:Eli-Clare Relationship/@comment-24278407-20131215045400/@comment-6272714-20131217035643
...You ''were ''comparing a mentally unstable Eli to the present, healthy one. Lol you even said, "crazy Eli." All those actions you've listed are from when he was totally out of it. I understand he's learned from his mistakes, but as I keep trying to enforce, his past mistakes from when he was untreated and dealing with manic-depression on top of being traumatized can't be compared with the present Eli, who is medicated, healed, and has a sound mind that is fully capable of clear judgment and decision-making. He knew what he was doing when he locked lips with Lenore, and sure he regrets it, of course he does. But he's got an awful way of showing his remorse, that's for sure. I know you think Eli's past actions are of greater severity than his affair with Lenore, but that's subjective and I disagree. His past actions were influenced by intense mental instability and trauma. He had little control over his decisions back then, and he can't be held entirely accountable as he was living through a debilitating mental illness undiagnosed. Back then, he apologized for his mistakes. He apologized numerous times to those he hurt, and he redeemed himself. Him cheating was the worst act he's committed yet, and I feel this way because unlike his past, he's completely of sound mind now. He made the decision to cheat on Clare with a fully rational, healthy mind. Sure, he missed Clare and felt like he had to fill a void, but that's frankly no more than an excuse on his part. Missing your significant other is not a reason for cheating to ever be condonable. He knew what he was doing, and he did it anyway. Yes, he stopped before things went all the way, and I truly believe he does regret what happened, but the way he went about dealing with his mistake is what I can't forgive. Unlike how he'd own up to his mistakes and apologize in the past, this time he avoided telling Clare the truth (he also avoided Lenore, ignoring her feelings), and he did manipulate Clare into forgiving him by influencing her already fragile emotions with a reminder of the entirety of their relationship in the form of a book of emails. He did this so she'd take him back; he knew (or at least he was hoping) the book of emails would win her over. This is technically manipulation. I know Eli's always been manipulative, but this time takes the cake. He has apologized for his mistakes in the past, so why not this one? The way he went about owning up to his mistake was all wrong and irresponsible, and unhealthy for Clare. He should have apologized to her, had a long, serious talk about what happened, and allowed her time to think things through without his influence. Instead he took an unhealthy route and pressured her into taking him back by showing her all of their emails, reminding her of their history together and therefore influencing her emotions into wanting to stay in this relationship, which is manipulation. Yes, Clare never said, "Eli, I forgive you". She never uttered the words, but she hugged him as a sign, giving him the impression that she forgives him. He literally is under the presumption that things are fine now, when the situation was not even handled properly whatsoever. She sat with him at the Thanksgiving dinner, signaling they got back together. In her heart, however, I'm inclined to believe she is still unsure, and she's still hurting. It was evident on her face, in the way she'd look at Drew post-kiss. Part of it may be guilt, but I think Clare is still in a VERY confusing place emotionally. How could she not be, when she and Eli didn't even properly communicate about their feelings? They shouldn't be together right now. "She just gave him a hug. The same way he just gave her a book of emails." See? Lack of communication at its finest. Yet you're saying they are, in no way, toxic nor abusive. I have to respectfully disagree.